Anna On...Being A Banana
“........(Ben and Jerry's ice cream) which I enjoy more than I enjoy Walkers crisps which are so bad for me anyway and I really don't need the extra spare tyres around my waist because I already find it difficult enough to squeeze into my jeans but it's so hard being healthy when I am a banana........”
Anna On...Dining
“........I love going out for dinner and I always order spaghetti bolognese it's my favourite because it's got beef which is why I always order meat when I'm on aeroplanes I never order vegetarian because it always has capsicum in it and I'm allergic to capsicum........”
Anna On...Hair Colour
“........who is brilliant (David Attenborough) because he taught me lots of facts about tigers (sic) not living in Africa and that Dr Seuss pronounced his name so it rhymed with rejoice and that Lucille Ball wasn't a natural red head so why why why would she dye it that colour hair should be brown or yellow or black or grey which is not so much of a prejudice as it is a preference like enjoying Ben and Jerry's ice cream........”
Anna On...Illness
“........I'm a severe hypercondriac (sic) which is why I thought I was going through menopause last week but it could have been tonsillitis if I hadn't already had my tonsils removed when I was 8 so I guess it was just a sore throat but a sore throat can really ruin a holiday to New York........”
Anna On...Squirrels
“........I love going out for dinner and I always order spaghetti bolognese it's my favourite because it's got beef which is why I always order meat when I'm on aeroplanes I never order vegetarian because it always has capsicum in it and I'm allergic to capsicum........”
Anna On...Tans
“........it's my favourite city (Australia..!!) to live in because it's got people who say things like 'you bute' and 'howsitgowin' and it's got the best Chinese noodle house that serves my favourite mushroom chive dumplings and it's got my sister who's got big green eyes and curly hair which makes her look like she's mixed-race but she's not mixed race at all she is a white girl with a good all year round tan not like the tan which I get which is out of a bottle and sometimes makes streaking marks on my legs which get very itchy from the dry air during the winter months........”
Anna On...Teeth
“........it's my least favourite season (winter) because the gas bills are always extortionate and my pocket money doesn't get to be spent on Primark shoes which I already have too many of like teeth which I definitely have too many of at the front but am lacking at the back where I am missing my molars and words of wisdom teeth not that I need them to be as smart as David Attenborough........”
